Why is Wall Street getting fat while the rest of us starve?

Posted: December 15, 2010 in News
Tags: , , , , ,


It really should be no surprise. While swarms of 401k’s were sinking faster than the Titanic, Wall Street was greasing congress to give them the biggest bailout in American history. What were we promised? That big banks would start lending that money to small businesses in an effort to get the economy back on track. What has happened thus far? Well, last year Wall Street paid out $20.3 billion dollars in bonuses while 10 percent of the country was unemployed.

So how does trickle-down economics work? I’m no economist, but it doesn’t take a professor to figure out that the last ten years of this failed policy has created little, if any jobs. Do you think that companies hire workers because they have extra money in their coffers? Absolutely not, and it’s our duty as citizens to hold our government to a higher standard in terms of job creation. It’s our duty to put the screws to congress who will in turn put the screws to big business.

A firm manager making $100 million next year will be keeping a cool $60 million of his money while you and I can’t keep gas in our cars.  Here, have some jokes.

These terms have been redefined to fit current circumstances: 

CEO – Chief Embezzlement Officer.

CFO – Corporate Fraud Officer.

BULL MARKET – A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.

BEAR MARKET – A six to eighteen month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex!

VALUE INVESTING – The art of buying low and selling lower.

P/E RATIO – The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing.

BROKER – What my broker has made me.

(S&P) STANDARD & POOR – Your life in a nutshell.

STOCK ANALYST – Idiot who just downgraded your stock.

STOCK SPLIT — When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves.

MARKET CORRECTION – The day after you buy stocks.

CASH FLOW – The movement your money makes as it disappears down the Toilet.

INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR – Past year investor who’s now locked up in a Nuthouse.

MOMENTUM INVESTING – The fine art of buying high and selling low.

‘BUY, BUY’ – A flight attendant making market recommendations as you step off the plane.

FINANCIAL PLANNER – A guy who actually remembers his wallet when he runs to the 7-Eleven for toilet paper and cigarettes.

CALL OPTION – Something people used to do with a telephone in ancient times before e-mail.

YA HOO – What you yell after selling all you owned to some poor sucker for $240 per share.

WINDOWS – What you jump out of when you’re the sucker that bought Yahoo for $240 per share.

PROFIT – Religious guy who talks to God.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s